Almost 50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. With 66% of American households having a pet, there’s bound to be some overlap between those two statistics. When you’re going through a divorce, courts typically consider creating a plan for your children. But pets are considered property, not family—no matter how much you might disagree with that statement.
Because of that, it can be challenging to navigate pet ownership during divorce. Separation usually has a heavy impact on families. Each person will deal with it differently, including children. So, it’s essential to keep everyone in mind when you’re trying to determine what’s best for your pet.
There are also some legal considerations and ways to keep your pet happy and healthy throughout the process.
Let’s explore how you can healthily navigate pet ownership during divorce and what that might look like for you and your family.
Consider joint-custody
It is generally OK for a dog to live in two houses if both environments are stable, safe, and provide love and care.
Co-parenting a dog can be healthy and beneficial, provided both parties communicate effectively and prioritize the dog’s well-being; consistency in training, care, and attention is crucial to ensure the dog feels secure in both homes.
While shared custody isn’t inherently harmful, it can pose challenges if not managed properly. Dogs thrive on routine and stability, making minimizing stress through predictable schedules and smooth transitions essential.
Legal ownership during a breakup typically depends on how ownership was established.
If one person adopted the dog or was the primary caregiver, they may be considered the owner, but courts may also consider factors like who paid for the dog’s expenses and provided care.
Having a written agreement can help clarify ownership in situations of co-ownership.
Put your pet first
First and foremost, your decision about what to do with your pet should be based on their needs and who can meet them.
For example, if you’re staying in the marital home and your ex is moving into an apartment, it will be better for your pet to stay somewhere familiar most of the time. Living in a house also usually means having more space and a yard for your pet to enjoy.
Your goal should be to offer your pet the healthiest space possible.
That includes a home that is clean and free of pests. You can keep fleas away by vacuuming the places where your pet sleeps, putting down washable blankets or towels for them to lay on, and washing them — and your pets — frequently. If you have more time to do that than your former spouse, the “pet custody” leans in your favor, too.
Of course, your spouse has to be on board with putting your pet first. But if they’re asking for time with the pet anyway, chances are they care about it enough to prioritize its needs over their own.
Focus on your family
When there are custody issues with children in court, the judge is supposed to decide based on the children’s best interests.
While a judge is unlikely to do the same with a pet, you should take the initiative to do that as a pet owner.
If you have kids, it’s essential to understand that they’re already undergoing significant changes. Divorce can impact children in many different ways, causing a slew of emotions that often include:
- Confusion
- Loss
- Anger
- Anxiety
Studies have shown that pets can reduce stress and anxiety, keeping you calm and boosting your mood. Your kids might need that comfort during your separation. So, wherever they are, you should also consider keeping your pet there.
When it comes to keeping your pet or having it most of the time, keep your self-care in mind, too.
Going through a divorce isn’t easy, even if it’s amicable. Having a furry friend around to boost your mood can make a big difference in how you handle the grieving process.
Consider the legalities
Pets are often viewed as property in a court of law.
So, legally joint custody isn’t an option.
Unless you signed a prenuptial agreement about your pet before getting married, it’s unlikely a court will have any opinion on what to do with your dog or cat. A prenup should include things like:
- A decision about pet custody
- Visitation rights
- Name(s) of who is responsible for pet medical decisions
- Division of assets to provide for pet’s needs
If you want to fight for “custody” of your pet, you might be able to convince a judge if you gather enough evidence.
For example, if you are listed as the owner on your pet’s registration or adoption papers, that’s a good start.
Financial records suggesting you took responsibility for their needs are also beneficial, proving you have a better, more stable home life.
Some states, including Illinois, are starting to see pets as more than property, where a law treats pets in divorce cases more like children.
So, even though most states still won’t formally allow for a pet custodial arrangement, it may not hurt to try if you have convincing evidence that your furry friend should stay with you.
Going through a divorce is hard, and being a parent during a divorce is even more challenging. Navigating pet ownership during divorce might be the most difficult thing since there are no clear rules about what should happen.
Working with good lawyers can help, as can setting clear expectations and doing what’s best for your beloved pet your top priority so you can reach shared-custody agreements.
Successfully share custody of your dog
Navigating a pet custody agreement can be a rewarding experience, but it also requires clear communication and organization.
To reduce the risk pet custody disputes, always focus on your dog’s best interests.
Here are some tips to make the process smoother:
Create a detailed custody schedule: Design a clear schedule that outlines when each party will have custody of the dog. This could involve alternating weeks, weekends, or even shared days.
A printed calendar or a shared electronic calendar can help both parties stay on the same page.
Establish communication guidelines: Open and honest communication is vital. Set up regular check-ins to discuss the dog’s welfare, any concerns, and updates.
Using a shared messaging app or group chat can help keep discussions organized.
Share responsibilities: Determine how responsibilities will be divided. This includes feeding, walking, grooming, and vet visits.
Make sure both parties are equally invested in the dog’s care.
Keep consistent routines: Dogs thrive on routine, so try to maintain consistency in feeding, walks, and playtime.
Discuss preferences with your co-custodian to ensure the dog feels secure and settled in both homes.
Be flexible and adaptable: Life can be unpredictable, so be open to adjusting the schedule or sharing responsibilities as needed.
Flexibility shows respect for each other’s time and commitments.
Consider professional help: If disagreements arise, involve a mediator specializing in pet custody issues. They can help facilitate discussions and create a fair agreement.
Focus on the dog’s best interest: Always prioritize your dog’s well-being over personal disagreements.
Joint custody is about ensuring stability and happiness for your pet, so make decisions that reflect that commitment.
Respect each other’s bond with the dog: Acknowledge the significance of each party’s bond.
Celebrate your co- custodian’s time with the dog and recognize that different experiences can enrich the dog’s life.
Plan for emergencies: Discuss an action plan for emergencies, such as sudden illness or accidents.
Agree on who will handle vet visits or emergencies and ensure that both parties can access crucial medical information. Also, agree on how you will pay your pet’s medical bills.
Determining pet ownership during divorce
Consider these ideas and suggestions if you’re currently going through a divorce.
Putting your pet and your family first should make deciding what to do with your four-legged companion easier. Always consider the best interests of the dog when making decisions about custody arrangements.
Dan Matthews is a writer with a degree in English from Boise State University. He has extensive experience with nose boops and chin scritches. You can find him on Twitter and LinkedIn.
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